=>Moving =>Mom

Time Session Began:  1805 Duration of Session:  45 min
Exercise	Reps	Sets	Comments
ISL	10	1	Performed sitting. Each side performed separately for better coaching. Getting better.
KI	10	1	Refuses to believe that holding her legs in alignment will make it easier, even though we demonstrated this.
LU	10	1	Performed sitting. She clearly performs this exercise more easily when she sits forward and up but I had to remind her to do this with each rep. It was exhausting for me.
KNI	10	1	Again, I had such trouble getting her to remain in a sitting forward, upright position, even though it clearly made the exercise easier for her, that I became frustrated and she performed badly.
FO1	12	1	Performed sitting. Performed each side separately for enhanced coaching. Same problem as above. Did it a lot worse than yesterday.
SDS	10	1	What the hell ever.
FO2	10	1	Performed sitting. Each side performed separately for enhanced coaching. Didn't help.
TDS	10	1	This one's hard to do badly. She did it well.
BG	7	1	Did this well, too; standing.
MIP	10	1	No change from yesterday. Okay.
F2S	10	1	Kept her arms straight through more reps than usual, but slumped back in the chair halfway through. I tried to correct her but she just sighed and stayed where she was.
SSS	10	1	She doesn't want to use her thigh on this one. I gave her hell for this.
AC	5	1	Performed sitting. Again, although she did move her arms from the shoulders, she kept slumping back and I kept "coaching her to sit forward and up.
FC	10	1	Performed sitting instead of our usual standing, but she did these without a hitch. Couldn't believe it and complimented her.
SDST	10	1	She did okay on these but there isn't much one can do wrong.
IACR			Not yet doing.
TDST			Not yet doing.
IACL			Not yet doing.
STS			Not yet doing.
SSST			Not yet doing.
BD	10	1	Performed sitting. Did these well, arm held up nicely, but continued slumping back in the chair. This was the exercise during which I demonstrated to her that when she sits forward and upright her back doesn't hurt. She confirmed this, but continued to slump back and complain about her back hurting. Needless to say, I exploded at her.
NSGP			Not done yet.
SUSD	4	1	Actually did well on this. She's got the technique but, as I noticed after the session, she only uses this technique during the session. Otherwise, she does what I call "standing up on her hands". I got after her for this.

    Yes, third day in a row for an exercise session. My plan was to take a break tomorrow and take her with me to Costco for some walkering.
    That was my plan, anyway. I don't know. I'd like to say what happened during today's exercise session is that I'm expecting to much of a typically lethargic, arthritis ridden 88 year old woman. I'd like to say this but I'm not sure that's accurate. What I can say is that Mom approached the session with her usual sour attitude and I exploded. Got nasty. When she started complaining about her back hurting I came back at her by telling her that of course it was hurting, she wasn't sitting correctly during the weight exercises, which was true. And, in fact, when I harassed her to sit correctly, her back stopped hurting.
    As the session continued I became more and more frustrated and didn't hold back my frustration. I castigated her about not listening to me, not believing that I know what I'm doing, not believing in herself, that she can do these things, refusing to work in good form when she's capable of good form (and, she is); I got after her for her attitude; I used the fact that I knew what position would relieve the tension on her back against her when she refused to hold this position; god, I don't believe there is anything awful I didn't say or didn't do. In addition, on the weight bearing exercises I insisted that we work both arms separately so that she could concentrate on good form. Instead, probably because she was angry with my attitude, she performed worse instead of better.
    Finally, after the session, I told her that I give up. Part of my job is to try to keep her in the best condition I can; to make sure she moves, exercises, does as much as she can so that she doesn't prematurely atrophy. But, I said, I guess it doesn't matter. I can't do what she refuses to do. I can't continue exercise sessions when her form is so bad that we risk injuring her instead of strengthening her. I continued that if she wants to atrophy I refuse to take responsibility, but I wasn't going to stop pointing out that she doesn't "need" to shuffle around, she doesn't "need" to be as stiff as she is, she's making that choice every time she sits "badly" instead of "correctly"; every time she's goes to bed because it's habit; every time she chooses bad form habits because they're habit, as though she has no choice. She has a choice, I told her, and she's making it. And I give up.
    After I exploded I sat sullenly off to the side and remembered that I was feeling so, so good before the session. I had this image in my head of Mom's attitude toward movement just a year ago: Fists clenched, arms moving as though she was power walking, ready to go, ready to conquer the world. I had been thinking, yes, we're going to get her there again. Maybe I'm wrong. And maybe I'm not accepting it. Maybe I'm wrong about everything. Maybe she's in a decline I'm refusing to acknowledge. I don't know. All I know is that I can't continue exercise sessions that may be hurting her and I'm having a hard time, a very hard time, accepting that she may be beyond exercise sessions, now.
    At any rate, we'll both get a rest tomorrow. Not exercise session and no Costco. I need a day of emotional rest.

Time Session Began:  1830 Duration of Session:  45 min
Exercise	Reps	Sets	Comments
ISL	10	1	Performed sitting. Worked each arm separately so that she was able to concentrate on tensing her muscles to keep her form.
KI	10	1	Worked on keeping her legs properly aligned. She tends to relax everything so that her legs raise and lower diagonally.
LU	10	1	Performed sitting. Each arm done separately with close coaching in order to see to it that she kept her mind on what she was doing and tensed her muscles appropriately in order to maintain proper form.
KNI	10	1	Worked on leg alignment.
FO1	10	1	Performed sitting. Worked each arm separately to induce proper tensing and form.
SDS	10	1	Good.
FO2	10	1	Performed sitting. Worked each arm separately to address form and tensing.
TDS	10	1	Worked on leg alignment.
BG	6	1	"Since you're getting so good at this one, we're going to do six today."
MIP	10	1	She seemed a little iffy by this time; her body was getting feeling what it's like to actually work. I made her do "the whole thing", though.
F2S	10	1	She always does this one well, and did it well today.
SSS	10	1	No complaints. Very nicely done.
AC	5	1	I think, tomorrow, we'll work each arm separately so she begins to understand that movement, with this one, generates from the shoulders and the straighter one keeps one's arms and back, the easier and more effective the exercise is.
FC	10	1	Whoa! She remembered what we talked about yesterday about tension and form and did this one correctly! "Very, very good, Mom!" We performed this one sitting, even though we usually do it standing. She was tiring.
SDST	10	1	No complaints.
IACR			Not doing yet.
TDST			Not doing yet.
IACL			Not doing yet.
STS			Not doing yet.
SSST			Not doing yet.
BD	10	1	Getting better. Hold arm higher and straighter.
NSGP			Not doing yet.
SUSD	5	1	I announced that I was going to have her do four, but we got a fifth one in to practice technique.

    My demeanor was a bit gentler but the work-out was harder. After last night's session I realized that we need to perform each weight bearing exercise separately on each side while I closely coach her and verbally work on her to make sure she keeps her muscles tensed. I discovered that she simply hasn't been doing this. Again, we talked about the purpose of the weights. She thought the nursing home introduced them as "fun", "for decoration". I corrected this. I also gave her several mini lectures about physiology and how holding one's arms, legs and body wrong can not only undermine the benefit of the exercise but harm the body. I also went after her attitude and cautioned her that her mind must be present while she's working out. I told her she is perfectly capable of not becoming distratcted. I badgered her when I noticed her attention wandering. She understood. She worked really, really hard. During the session she drank water several times, which she's never done. At the end of the session she was sweating (she's never sweated after a session; previously, I've been the only one sweating) and breathing a little hard. I congratulated her for this. Later in the evening I teased her by pointing out that she was beginning to develop, "little bitty baby muscles." She laughed. Good. Maybe, this time, we're on our way.

Time Session Began:  2018 Duration of Session:  47 min
Exercise	Reps	Sets	Comments
ISL	10	1	Performed sitting.
KI	10	1
LU	10	1	Performed sitting.
KNI	10	1
FO1	10	1	Performed sitting.
SDS	10	1
FO2	12	1	Performed sitting. The extra two were done separately with each arm to correct form.
TDS	12	1	Again, correcting form, specifically how she holds her legs.
BG	5	1
MIP	10	1	Performed standing supporting herself between the backs of two chairs. Left leg better than right. She's shifting her weight well, though.
F2S	10	1	Performed sitting.
SSS	10	1	Worked on getting her to relax calf and use only the thigh muscle, as well as keeping leg aligned from hip through foot. Only partially successful.
AC	5	1	She's actually doing better with this exercise.
FC	10	1	Performed standing. Today we worked on keeping her arm tensed throughout the exercise and not breaking her wrist. It was a struggle, but she's getting it.
SDST	10	1	Good. Shifting weight well.
IACR			Not doing yet.
TDST			Not doing yet.
IACL			Not doing yet.
STS			Not doing yet.
SSST			Not doing yet.
BD	10	1	She was "feeling the burn", getting tired and sweating, so I decided to sit her down for this one. Her form was good, though.
NSGP			Not doing yet.
SUSD	5	1	Speeded her up a bit on this one, which makes it easier for her. She's beginning to understand how her current standing and sitting technique undermines the development of strength in her legs and compromises her back.

    I don't know what got into me, other than frustration. I decided, this is it. I'm going to harass her into moving more and moving competently as much as she is able. I went after her like an unfriendly drill sergeant. As well, I finally figured out that she just isn't getting that the use of weights is not for decoration; when weights are used it's important to tense the muscles that are being affected in order to get the maximum strengthening benefits from the weights. I worked her hard, gave her no slack and no compliments on any of the exercises.
    At the end of the session I said, "Okay, woman. From now on we do exercises everyday. You need to work on your attitude. If you don't want to do exercises, you need to approach the session with a fake attitude. When I mention that it's time for a session, I want you to sit up in your chair, body and mind alert, as though this is what you've been looking forward to all day. I'm not going to let you make a choice between slowly dying of inactivity or the possibility of dying in the middle of an exercise session. I'm making the choice for you, now. You're going to die with those weights in your hands and your muscles working. I'm tired of leaving you at home, tired of all the work it takes to monitor you during the few times that you either deign to go out or I have to take you out. It stops here."
    I know, we've all heard it before. And, I'll bet, at some point, I'll feel sorry for her and slack off, again. I hope not. But, we're back in the saddle and I'm hoping I'll have enough stamina to keep her in the saddle until death takes her off. I mean, at her age, it just seems to me that, one way or another, in bed or upright, it isn't going to make that much difference in how long she lives. The difference will be "made" in how much time we spend together and how much her demeanor perks up as I am able to get her out more without having to worry about whether she's strong enough. Of course, I'll make allowances for when she's obviously physically ill and not "up to it". But, no more allowances for the circular catch-22 syndrome of lethargy. So there. "Too," as my mother would add.